Insurrectionist

by Brad Rose

After the scavenger hunt, I turned myself in. My get-rich-quick scheme yielded more sticks than you can shake a stick at, so I thought it was best to quit while I was ahead. It’s hard to hit a home run, even in little league. The last thing you want to do is to overthink it. Sometimes I wish I had one of those automatic lives, you know, the ones with the Kafkaesque underbrush and the Darth Vader hedge funds, but sadly, there are no easy answers, only laid-back pop quizzes. They’re a great source of dietary fiber. Yesterday, I visited my dermatologist for my annual check-up. While I was waiting in the waiting room—which is one of the optimal places to wait—I noticed the office mood music was, I’ve Got You Under My Skin. Some people are willing to bend over backwards to go that extra mile. You’ve got to give them credit. Of course, it’s not easy being a spokesmodel for a losing cause, but fortunately, vengeance makes the heart grow fonder. Next time, we’ll be sure to throw those bums out of office. You can’t run a country on free-form dancing and all the Chablis you can drink. There’s always more to good riddance than meets the eye. If you want to join forces, text me.